


Playing it safe

by Comicfan



Series: Jason Todd/Artemis of Bana-Mighdall Challenge [6]
Category: Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: F/M, Past Relationship(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-01
Updated: 2017-08-01
Packaged: 2018-12-07 21:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11632224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Comicfan/pseuds/Comicfan
Summary: Artemis and Jason are finally talking things out but that doesn't mean their ready to move on.





	Playing it safe

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently when I tried to update the chapters it wasn't working so well so this part will be separate.

It was the middle of the night, Bruce and Diana had left for League business and promised to return when they could. Jason had appreciated Bruce's concern but reminded him that he still had an underage son that needed more attention from his father. That was true but Jason also needed some space. It had been fairly quiet after they were left alone at the estate. Bizarro had taken it upon himself to assume the role of Alfred and check in on Jason until he went to bed.

_Not that I need any help with my physical wounds anymore. It's still nice to have the big guy's company._

Wiggling his toes Jason smiled at the Batman socks Bizarro had picked out for him. It was only then that he realized he was only wearing clothes his teammates had given him as gifts. The simple black silk boxers had been from Kori to replace the underwear Roy had somehow blown up in the dryer. He hadn't wanted to go commando and Kori had taken it upon herself to solve the problem. It might have been unwritten rule not to buy someone under garments if you weren't dating them but she only saw his discomfort without them. 

_I still don't know what happened to the underwear that wasn't in the dryer. The ones Roy claimed the vacuum got. I'm not sure I want to know that story._

The t-shirt was a design Roy had found hilarious and gotten one for each of them. Ironically Jason only wore his on laundry days and a quick change when nothing else was close by. The design was an arrow piecing a heart with the text "shot through the heart and you're to blame!" Jason had told Roy that if he was ever shot with an arrow he'd know damn well who was to blame but it was nice that he was owning up to it in advance.

 _Now their both gone._ The smile that had stretched his face fell at the thought. _Off to bigger and better things with better people._

A sudden knock at his door deepened his frown because he knew it couldn't be Bizarro. The clone had avoided bothering Jason when he was supposed to be resting. Jason's hand hovered above the doorknob unsure if he wanted to confirm his suspicions.

_Just open it, Jason. You can't avoid her forever._

Standing before him in a tank top and a pair of sweat pants was Artemis. The mere sight of her made his pulse race though he refused to examine why. He didn't have to make strained pleasantries or wait long for her to speak as she cut him to the chase.

"I'm not the best at expressing myself at times." Artemis explained having decided to skip the small talk. "It was wrong of me to take out my frustrations on you. I have my reasons for acting so irrational but it doesn't excuse my actions. I'm sorry."

Jason's eyebrows shot up to his hair line at her apology.

"I have to admit I never expected to hear that."

"I thought it was best to get straight to the point instead of stewing in confusion and lashing out again." After a moment's hesitation Jason gestured for her to sit down on the sofa with him. When he said nothing in response she continued to fill the void. "I suppose I should explain myself."

The Amazon aimlessly fiddled with the stray threads of the old blanket Diana had thrown over the sofa.

"There were a number of factors for my behavior and it stemmed from the fear of history repeating its self. Communication used to be paramount with Akila and I until she was forbidden by the Gods. You know what happened to her."

He did though he made no move to interrupt Artemis even as emotion choked her voice.

"I can't help feeling so useless when I'm in the dark. I kept thinking--I couldn't stop myself from thinking--that you're on the same self-destructive path as Akila." 

Jason watched as her eyes welled up at the memory but didn't dare reach out to her.

"The more you refused to speak about it with me the more helpless I felt and the more I started overthinking it. I know it makes no sense..." Artemis angrily wiped at her eyes, whether she was mad at herself for showing weakness or Akila he couldn't say.

"No. It makes perfect sense." He chuckled darkly earning a concerned look in response. "In a way we are alike."

Not talking about it with her would probably be safer for him. The Amazon might not respect him much (or so he told himself recently) but at least she had no proof of his past failures. But if they were going to be a team he needed her to know and just like Kori it was going to be an exhausting experience to bear his soul. Once he started there would be no stopping.

"I always had trouble believing I was more than a placeholder sidekick. Sometimes I wondered if Batman would just drop me back on the streets if Nightwing decided to come home. I needed to know my place and he's always been more action than words. That led to a lot of...conflict. Then I found out about my mom. It turned out that I wasn't an orphan after all." He kept his eyes focused on the ground not sure if he could bear to see her face then. "I had a mom, a real flesh and blood mom and I kept thinking it was like destiny, you know? If I was just a stand in as Robin then surely I belonged with her."

A wayward tear trailed down his cheek but with his face turned away there was no way she'd notice.

"I was so excited and nervous I rushed off as soon as I could just to meet her. I had no real plan in mind, I don't know why but I kind of assumed everything would click into place. Which was stupid because nothing had _ever_ worked out and I should have remembered that." Jason took a deep breath trying to control his emotions.

_This is why no one ever wanted you, Jason. You're too emotional, you get too attached to people who barely give a damn about you._

"She was working with Joker and I knew I had to get her out of there. Years later I would overhear how the rest of the "family" thinks it went down." Yes, he remembered those nights where he eavesdropped on conversations to prepare for his confrontation with Bruce. Jason had wanted up to date Intel and gotten more than he bargained for. "They all think I was reckless and "challenged the Joker." Like I was some egotistical moron that cared more about my pride than her life."

It was impossible to keep the disgust out of his voice so Jason didn't try. He'd wager that most if not all of the family still believed he had died trying to play hero. It didn't matter if he told them the truth, their minds were already made up. Jason Todd would always been seen as the failure of the family that was never acknowledged outside missions, unless he was the bad example used to warn others.

"But no, I asked her to leave with me and she claimed the building was empty. My own mother betrayed me to try to save her own skin. While I was still reeling from that Joker and his men started wailing on me. Long story short: there was a crowbar and a bomb. It didn't end well."

More tears slid down his face and landed in bunch of tiny wet imprints on the floor below. He angrily wiped them away with a rough swipe of his shaking hand.

"I died." Jason whispered. "I don't remember much afterwards. At least I didn't but lately...lately I keep getting bits and pieces. Sometimes I tell myself it's just a dream. Most of it is a nightmare. You know how I was recently buried alive? Ever since I've been...I remember it being dark and hard to breathe..."

Jason didn't realize he was on the verge of a panic attack until Artemis wrapped an arm around his shoulder and told him to breathe. He obeyed, faintly aware of her scent providing a safe anchor to the here and now.

"You're safe now." Artemis reassured pushing his sweaty bangs to the side.

They stayed like that for some time with Jason taking a shuttering breath and Artemis whispering assurances into his ear. Eventually his shaking body sagged into her embrace and Jason started feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry I--"

"You have nothing to apologize for, Jason. I shouldn't have rushed you." Pulling back Artemis studied his tear strained face and tenderly wiped away any remaining dampness. Her own face was still faintly crimson from her own distress and Jason marvelled that she was willing to show him such vulnerability. She had always seemed so unstoppable, so much stronger than most of the people he had known. Why would she cry for him? Artemis wasn't heartless, he knew she wasn't but all the same it left him breathless.

"Gods, to think of you alone..." She shuddered but didn't voice the rest of the thought out loud.

"Sometimes I think I'm still dead and none of this is real." It spilled out of him and Jason feared the damn had finally burst.

"It's real Jason." She squeezed his hand and kissed his forehead. "And so are you."

"Yeah?" A rough chuckle came out of him as he took her in. "Some times, rare as it is, it seems too good to be true."

 _You're too good to be true, Ar. So beautiful and fierce. I don't deserve to even have you in my life but I'm glad I do._  It might have been a poor time to think such a thing but with her looking at him like that Artemis was absolutely stunning.

"Really? Such as?" Her mouth had quirked up as if she heard his thoughts.

"Uh...you know. In general." Had his mouth abruptly gone dry?

"No, I believe you meant something specific if it's rare. Whatever could you mean?" Nothing about her voice nor expression changed yet Jason suspected she was teasing him.

"Well Bizarro and you." It was an honest answer just not a detailed one.

"Do you wish to avoid the other topic for now or get it out of the way?" 

He grimaced at the mention of the other topic earning himself an exasperated look from a not so patient Amazon.

"I did try to talk about it with you before." Jason reminded to which Artemis gave a somewhat sheepish shrug. Her version of sheepish was more awkward and annoyed though her annoyance seemed to be with herself.

"As I previously stated I'm not the best at expressing myself and took that out on you. I'm willing to discuss terms."

Jason blinked then to his amazement laughed.

"I don't like being laughed at." Artemis scrowled then actually pouted, she'd kill him if she knew how adorable he found that pout.

"Sorry. It's just...you make it sound like we're at war and trying to sign a treaty !" The silliness of her words kept a boyish grin on his face even though her mild glare made him want to hide his amusement. The last thing he wanted was for her to think he was making fun of her.

"In a way it is a discussion of surrender."

_What does that mean?_

"Do you really think it's that bad?" Did Artemis find the idea so repulsive that she'd see it as giving up?

"That is a talk for another time. For now let's just say that the Bana-Mighdall see relationships in a different light. Surrender isn't always a bad thing." Her pose turned defensive as she folded her arms in front of her chest. "Now to clarify: you're attracted to me but don't wish to proceed. Correct?"

"I don't think we should. I never had much in the way of friends and I'd never want to risk what we have."

Her expression softened at his sincerity and to his utter astonishment Artemis drew closer. "I value what we have as well. I'm not sure how we should proceed either but I think I just realized that what we currently have is a strong foundation of trust and respect. Those are key components for lasting bonds no matter what we chose."

"You--you're actually considering..." His hand motioned between them unable to believe much less state what Artemis was implying.

"I've had some time to think on it. I don't know what precisely I want beyond friendship. Our bond is already important to me." Her eyes flickered to his lips before slowly meeting his eyes again. "My people have many...types of relationships, Jason."

_Is she suggesting...? No, Artemis couldn't be considering taking things **that** far._

"We don't have decide anything now, just think about it. I believe we must consider our options before moving forward."

Unable to form an intelligible verbal response he nodded.

"Good. I'll give the matter more thought as well." Artemis kissed Jason's cheek and it took all his willpower not to turn his head to capture her mouth. 

He watched her walk away feeling faintly dizzy.

_I'm so screwed._

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if Kori meet Jason at a younger age in Rebirth canon but either way their talk still happened. Because Jason really needed someone to listen to him.
> 
> I heard debates on whether or not Shelia is still Jason's mother or Catherine is. Someone that claims to be in the know suggested it's the latter. I think it's still Shelia since Jason mentioned a birth mother but this will be a bit vague.
> 
> Artemis got upset thinking about Akila alone in her grave so she's not happy to hear the same about Jason much less that he remembers it.


End file.
